A toast munching, coffee drinking marvel
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November 12, 2002
1:26 p.m.

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This morning my mum revealed the existence of a 'Benita Mussell' in her class at school. I smell a rat. I suspect that an exiled dictator, commonly assumed to be dead, may have cunningly changed his name slightly and attended a girls school in the North West of England. So I asked if 'Benita' was fat and bald. I also asked if there was perhaps a loudmouthed girl with a sharp parting called Adolphine Hittle or a Josephine Stal in the class too. It's the only thing that makes sense. Conspiracy theorists will be flocking here in droves.

I spoke to Hilary on the phone a couple of days ago and she said something that really made me laugh. It was one thing that I'd have bet my house on Hilary never saying. She said "I didn't go to footy practise on Wednesday because I'd just had my hair done". That may not seem funny to anyone except Martha so by way of explanation I need only say Hilary is like me. Only blonde. Are you laughing now? Oh I give up.

Listening to: Happiness Reigns In The Heart Of The People - The Chives

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