Me: *says number*
Voice: (unclear but sounds like...) Jo is it?
Me: Yes
Voice: Hello, sorry I haven't rung for a while
Me: (frantically trying to work out who it is) That's okay
Voice: I thought I should call you for your birthday but could I find the piece of paper with your number on?! I had to get it from Directory Enquiries!
Me: (slightly suspicious because I haven't had a birthday since four months ago) Ha...ahhhh
Voice: (now with a clearly Australian accent) We've been travelling you see so sorry I didn't ring on your birthday. Did you have a nice time?
Me: (realising I don't know anyone Australian) Yes thanks.

(At this point it occurs to me that I misheard the very first thing the Australian lady said and she wasn't actually checking it was me, she said "Joyce?" This completely throws me and I am very flustered...I am also, to all intents and purposes, Joyce.)

Voice: Oh I'm glad. Is it a busy time for you?
Me: It is a bit actually
Voice: Ah. We've only just got back and I'd lost the bit of paper with your number on
Me: *nervous laughter*
Voice: Yes, we had a lovely time but I'm a bit disorganised now!
Me: Yes, I bet you are... *slightly panicking and wondering how I get out of this without revealing that I'm not Joyce*
Voice: Are you busy now?
Me: *relieved* Yes, I am actually. Can I call you back in a while?
Voice: Yes, sure! Okay then, bye.
Me: Bye!

So the poor Australian lady is probably still waiting for poor unsuspecting Joyce to call back. I really hope I haven't wrecked their friendship because Australian lady thinks Joyce can't be bothered to ring back. Why can't I act like a normal person and apologise profusely for mishearing at the beginning? Oh well...something went wrong before it got to me anyway. Either Directory Enquiries gave her the wrong number or she dialled it wrong. If she did dial the number incorrectly, she and Joyce are going to have a strange conversation when they do get back in touch...

"You didn't get round to ringing me back then?"
"Eh???!!!"
"The other day, you didn't ring me back."
"I haven't spoken to you for 6 weeks!"

But we managed to get a stairlift put in today without me being a pillock or mucking anything up. Hoorah! I want to have to go downstairs for everything so I can use it! Now I have beer and chocolate. And I also have a melted coffee granule on my pyjamas. Bollocks!

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