"Hello there,

I'm sure that like me, you are still trying to come to terms with the tragic loss of Diana, Princess of Wales. The whole nation has been mourning her loss for weeks now and we are all asking ourselves if there is any point in continuing with our drab lives now that 'The People's Princess' has left us forever. Ok, so admittedly most of us never even met her, and some of us didn't even want to, but now that she's gone we all realise that she was the greatest human being that ever lived.

In her all too brief life she went on holiday a lot did an enormous amount to help the poor and needy and brought a smile to the face of even the most hard-hearted of people. Although she lived in a palace and spent her whole life jetting around the world with her multi-millionaire Egyptian boyfriend, she was just like you and me and was often thinking of us all as she was skiing in the Alps or or sunbathing on her million pound yacht in the South of France.

This humble life was brought to a tragic end when her lover's Mercedes crashed while she was on a humanitarian shopping excursion to Paris, where she had been donating money to some of the poor fashion houses and five-star restaurants of that region.

Now that Diana is dead there have been several suggestions of how best to remember her - renaming Heathrow Airport 'Diana Airport' ; renaming Christmas Day 'Diana Day' ; or even renaming Great Britain 'Dianaland'. But I feel the best way we can remember her is to buy some flowers to put on her grave or perhaps outside one of her palaces. So if you'd like to help with this floral tribute, please send a cheque or preferably cash to me at the following address:

Reginald Mossop
15 Acacia Avenue
Surbiton
Dianaland

Thank you for your time."

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